Top 10 Rules for Online-Dating, Communication Etiquette

June 9th, 2009 by John

Top 10 Rules for Online Communication Etiquette When Dating Online

We sometimes communicate in an online world. This means that the slight nuances of body language and facial expression are lost to the reader. What is communicated is only the written word. If you want to avoid miscommunication and keep your possibilities open then follow these top 10 rules for online communication etiquette.

Username and passwords should always be secured. Your password should include letters and numbers in a random fashion. Don’t make them easy to guess. There are too many people who find satisfaction and amusement by cracking your online passwords and then wreaking havoc in your online life. Make your passwords different for every site – both professional, business and dating.

1. Always respond to an email from a potential date. Even if you don’t believe that you will form an alliance with this person if you don’t respond you may find your username trashed in the dating site forum. You can find a way to communicate your wishes that isn’t negative or hurtful. For instance, don’t respond: “You have to be kidding! You think I want to talk with YOU????” but rather: “Thank you for contacting me. I loved what you had to say in your profile about _____. But, after reading through I don’t believe we have too much in common. I wish you well!”

2. Make good use of the subject line. This is essentially the headline for your email. If the subject line is brief and enticing you’ll be assured that the reader is opening and reading! Your goal is to have the reader open the email and read.

3. Remember there is a human on the other end of the email, text or IM. So much of online communication is anonymous but the person on the other end isn’t – they are human with feelings – don’t forget.

4. The golden rule “Do unto others as you would have done unto you,” is a great rule in online communication. Online culture is full of its own shorthand. It’s best to read and reread your message before sending it. Read it aloud without any inflection or facial expressions. Try to stay away from subtle humor and any sarcasm. Messages don’t convey the twinkle in your eye when you teasingly refer to their dog as their fourth child. The humor may not come across in email and may not be well received.

5. Avoid sending spam, forwards and e-warnings. In the first place most e-warnings or requests for messages to be forwarded are fake. You can check most of these at www.Snopes.com. This site keeps a good handle on some of the more popular forwards, stories and urban legends. But even if it isn’t in their data base don’t assume it’s true. Most people get enough email without receiving more of the jokes, pictures, warnings and funnies. Ask before sending. Just because you can doesn’t mean you should.

6. Use your online communication to improve the way that people perceive you. In IM and txt abbreviations and shortcuts are acceptable. But when you’re using email try to keep the shortcuts to a minimum. Shortcuts are acceptable when you find it’s necessary to swear. Writing out curse words isn’t acceptable to everyone but asterisk fillers and euphemisms avoid offending most people.

7. Respect the privacy of the people with whom you are communicating. If you have received someone’s email address off of the dating site don’t share it with friends and acquaintances! You may think that you never would but it’s amazing how quickly we add email addresses to forwards we find funny or amusing.

8. Be forgiving of other’s mistakes. You may be familiar with the rules of online communication but others may not. Forgive them their mistakes and move on.\

9. Tone down your language. Avoid the use of ALL CAPS because in the online world it means you are screaming at the reader. Don’t purposefully flame or incite the anger of others. Especially when you are on the dating site forum – your username follows you everywhere.

10. Test for clarity and accuracy. You message may seem perfectly clear to you when you are writing it but to the reader it may have a different meaning. One good way to test is to read it aloud before posting it. It may feel like it’s taking more effort than necessary but it isn’t. Remember that anything posted to a forum or email is retrievable forever! Once you send a message to a group there is no taking it back and everything posted can be retrieved for years to come.

Thanks for reading this post,