What Not To Talk About On Your First Date

June 15th, 2009 by John

First Date Fopaux (It’s Hard To Walk With Both Feet In Your Mouth)!

Preparing for a first or second date can be a scary proposal, especially if you don’t date frequently. Part of the preparation is ensuring your safety, learning about the other person before meeting them from emails, IMs and their profile and preparing conversation starters.

What you may have forgotten to consider is that there are conversations that should be avoided on a first date. There can be several reasons but for the most part conversations on a first date should be centered around getting to know the other person in an atmosphere that is calm, fun and without stress.

Here are a couple topics that can produce just the opposite!

1. Avoid talking about past relationships. No matter how nice you think you may be once they open up about their last romance or failed marriage you may become more of a lay counselor than a date. The conversation most likely ends up with the date feeling badly about their past, look desperate or lonely or just wanting to go home and cry in their beer.

2. Don’t monopolize the conversation. You ask questions, they answer. They ask questions, you answer and then you ask questions again. At no point in this scenario are you talking incessantly. Both men and women like to talk about themselves and feel as though someone else is interested in their life.

3. Sex is a touchy subject. Some women want to talk about it and some don’t. Some men find the topic interesting on the first date and some don’t. The best advice is to avoid the conversation unless your date brings it up and then only to talk about what makes you comfortable.

4. Personal problems. Personal problems are just that – personal. Your date is just getting to know you. You may have had a close and personal relationship with your ex but this isn’t you ex. Remember that. Whining and complaining will lose your dates interest and any chances for a second date.

5. Money, Religion, Politics and Marriage. Is there more to say here? Each of these topics is a hot bed of conflict. Unless you both have unlimited wealth, are registered with the same political party, go to the same church and believe that marriage is for losers it’s a safe bet that you don’t have the same opinions. Your first date isn’t the time to initiate conflict so stay away from these topics.

6. Injuries and Complaints. It’s another no-no on your first date. This should be a time that is uplifting and fun. Negative conversation, complaints about the boss, health, children or family should be left at home where it belongs. If you want even a shadow of a chance of a second date with this person then leave the negativity at home. On the other hand if you want to drive them away and be sure that there is no second date by all means bring out the whining and complaining.

Your first date is a time to get to know the other person and investigate if they are someone you might like to get to know more. The vital information you learn on your first date will help you to make those decisions.

Thanks for reading this post,