A Whimsical (for women) Look At Ditching A Bad Date

May 6th, 2009 by John

Ladies, here’s how to ditch a bad date and have a story to tell for years to come!

Ugh! You are trapped on the worse date ever! He is loud, obnoxious and what the hell is wrong with that man’s left eye? You have choked down your meal faster than an Indy pit crew chages a tire, in hopes of ending the date but he is simply not eating fast enough. You are half tempted to reach over there and start feeding him…With both hands! How do you ditch this Grand Poobah of a bad date?

If you were smart, and believe me, you will be after this little life lesson, you checked out the floor plan of the restaurant that you are currently being tortured in. Is there a door near the ladies room? Pop in to “freshen up” and then slip on out. Even if you have to run all the way around the building to get to your car, it is worth the effort to ditch that insufferable loser.

If you are on a bad date at a dance club, sweetly lead him to the dance floor and then allow the crowd to swallow you up. By the time Goofy VonBadDate whines and worms his way through the crowd, you will be long gone. If you are feeling particularly malicious, walk over to a bouncer and point him out as a stalker that just will not leave you alone. He gets tossed out on his ear, you get to stay and party.

If you are a direct person, you could of course tell him flat out that it is not working and that you are going to bail out of the date, but most women are just not wired to be that open. Society has ingrained us to be polite no matter how unhappy it makes us, so that leaves us to do a little creative date ditching

Wait for a private moment and then call a friend. Have her call the restaurant and fake an emergency call for your date. This only works if you know his full name of course, but it is a classic when done properly. He gets an overhead page, and then returns bewildered, saying there is an emergency. He leaves and you are off the hook, relatively guilt free.

A little psychological warfare can chase off a bad date too, but proceed carefully. Look him in the eye and announce that you think that your babies would be positively beautiful. With any luck, that little gem will have him slipping out after having suddenly remembered some pressing engagement. If not, you may have just encouraged him a little further.

Getting blindingly drunk in an effort to embarrass a bad date away is a bad idea for a lot of reasons. For one thing, being drunk puts you at risk for bad decisions. What if you drink that loser into being suddenly attractive? You think its hard to ditch a bad date in a restaurant? Try ditching that clinger after sleeping with him in an alcohol-fueled stupor. You could toss him into an ocean tied to a Buick and he would still show back up.

Better to stay sober and keep an eye out for your chance to make a break for it. Hopefully he is not the worse kind of bad dates, the one that will not leave your side for a single second. They remain at the table no matter what, and follow you like a basset hound wherever you go. He even stands outside of the ladies room door when you go. Looks like this one has been date ditched a time or two before, huh? Maybe there will be a window in that bathroom.

Thanks for reading this post,